Mengyun is my cousin from Chongqing, China, where she lives with her husband and their newborn son, whom I have yet to meet! She is the one who told me about the novel coronavirus when she picked me up from the airport and handed me a facemask. A facemask I threw out first thing when I got home because I didn’t know how big a deal it all was. The next day Wuhan went under lockdown.
Mengyun’s grandfather passed away around Chinese New Year and she wasn’t able to attend his funeral. Meanwhile, she was quarantined at home with her in-laws and taking care of an infant. Despite it all, every time we chat, she sounds as bubbly as usual, and she always seems to have a new life lesson to share with me. I realized during this “interview,” though, that she was just hiding her difficulties from me.
Mengyun shared her story with me through voice messages onWeChat and it was more like a conversation than a proper interview. Therefore,for the clarity of this post, I formatted it so it reads like an interview.Also, I translated her Chinese into English and edited some parts to make itreadable.
So, finally, how does a family of 5 share a 70-square-meterspace together while running a company and raising a baby who grows so fastthey need to get clothes delivered to them in the midst of quarantine?
What was it like tobe quarantined with your baby, your husband, and your in-laws?
My parents-in-law came to Chongqing in December. They cameto help me take care of our newborn son and would return to Guangzhou once myown parents returned from their Spring Festival trip. But then the outbreak happened and travel restrictions wereput in place. They ended up staying with us through February.
Our apartment is so small. It was pretty stressful at home. My parents-in-law and I have different lifestyles and routines, so there were conflicts.
My husband did so much to mediate. He knew I didn’t like their food, so he would buy groceries and make food that I liked to eat. He was so exhausted because he also had to do work for his company, and of course he couldn’t say anything to his parents.
(Emily’s note: Each region of China has a different cuisine.In Chongqing, food is rich and spicy. In Guangzhou, where her parents-in-lawlive, food is sweet and bland.)
…In such a small space with our drastically different lifestyles, I felt suffocated.
-Mengyun
Our families’ lifestyles are just so different, and becauseof this, we argued a lot. I even developed an eye infection and had to go to ahospital. My left eye was swollen shut for half a month that I could only seethrough my right eye.
In December, when my in-laws first came, I got mastitis. And then in February, I got this eye infection. Those were seriously the most difficult months.
They finally left on March 1st, and things got better between my husband and me. I mean, think about it, in such a small space with our drastically different lifestyles, I felt suffocated. After all of this, I told my husband we can’t all live together again.
What did you all do every day?
Aside from buying groceries, cooking, and staying at home, there weren’t many other activities. We slept until noon or 1 pm every day. Even my baby went to bed at midnight. It totally ruined his sleep cycle.
It seems after this period, though, everyone turned intogreat chefs. Even I learned to cook!
You told me youeventually moved to your parents’ house, which is bigger. Can you tell me aboutthat?
At the end of February, I moved to my parents’ house. I wassupposed to go at the end of January but they were quarantined after returningfrom Jiangxi Province.
(Emily’s note: One person was allowed to leave the houseevery 3 days to buy groceries, and they received phone calls checking in onthem every day to make sure they were home. This carried on for two weeks, butto be safe, my cousin waited an extra week or so before moving in.)
There’s a garden at my parents’ place, so we can at least gooutside and get some sun. In the dense city, it’s so claustrophobic. There areso many people in my residential compound I’m afraid to go outside!
How is your husband’scompany doing? How did the pandemic affect your startup?
Now (March 18) everything is back to normal and my husband’scompany is open again. Originally we were supposed to open at the end ofFebruary, but it dragged on to mid-March.
Before the outbreak, we had a project ready to go under agreement, and we had already invested our own money in this project, but then the pandemic happened so we had no way to reach our client to collect our payment.
We were also supposed to have four interns but then theiruniversity took them back which was hard for us. But we have the government’sfinancial assistance, so February’s rent was forgiven.
My parents, on the other hand, still had to pay rent fortheir business because they paid in advance and their landlord won’t give theirmoney back, so they lost two months’ worth of rent.
Our employees also got half their social insurancesubsidized by the government, which means our company pays a month and a half’sworth of social welfare less than normal.
We bought a few thousand facemasks and donated them to ourlocal government to show our gratitude for their support. We thought theysupported us so much so we wanted to give back to our community, and this wasthe only way we knew how.
I know of many companies that didn’t pay salaries. Maybe they pay a percentage, like 30-50% but our company paid a full salary because my husband believes it’s important since everybody has families and home and car payments. We have to just make it through this month.
Sigh, this entire year hasn’t been easy.
Do you know any moreabout companies that didn’t pay salaries? Or about workers who didn’t get paid?
I heard about a lot of people in financial troubles. Apartner we work with, for example, since February until March, they haven’treceived a single payment.
And my cousin’s husband lost his job. He was still in theprobation period but his entire department was laid off.
Like my cousin and her husband, they were in a bad financial state to begin with, but now they’re even worse off!
-Mengyun
My cousin had just gotten a job at a kindergarten, butbecause of the pandemic all schools were closed so she never even got to starther job. Now they’re promising to place her in another location with a smallersalary.
The thing is, she used to work at a kindergarten with asteady income, but now because she was relocated, they demoted her to an officeposition and her new salary is a joke. After this experience, she’s prettydepressed.
Her baby turns one this month, but both she and her husbanddon’t have a steady stream of income. They’re about to start delivering foodand she sells stuff online, but this is not steady.
Is there anything youfeel you’ve gained from quarantine? Any lessons learned?
SAVE MONEY. Don’t spend all of it because, like my cousinand our other cousin, families with children need to have some sort of savings,at least good for up to six months, so when we encounter situations like these,life isn’t so hard.
As they say in English, you have to prepare for the rainy days!
-Mengyun
When my husband started his first company, he lost all hismoney. He told me from that lesson that whether you have a company or a familyor whatever, you have to have enough savings to let you live for half a yearbecause if you really run into a problem you have to be able to cover yourself.
Like my cousin and her husband, they were in a bad financial state to begin with but now they’re even worse off!
I was so lucky because when I had my baby, I receivedgovernment subsidies because I had paid for social insurance, so right now I’mliving off of this. My cousin didn’t pay for social insurance, so she had topay for everything when she had her baby. She didn’t think it was necessary,but my husband and I disagree.
As they say in English, you have to prepare for the rainydays!
Haha, you’re right.Nobody knows when it’s going to pour! So, how else can we prepare for those rainydays?
We need to keep facemasks on hand at home. Before the outbreak, I bought some for my son in case he gets sick. When the outbreak happened, facemasks were nowhere to be found!
Also, as a tip for foreigners who like coffee, you must geta coffeemaker. All the cafés were closed and we were so desperate for coffee webought the instant kind! Tastes horrible!
And, when you’re just starting up a business, you mustguarantee your staff’s salaries. You must learn to support others. Like my dad,he lowered rent for his tenants. During these difficult times, no need to addpains to suffering, we have to do what we can to help. We have to face reality!
Also, if you’re going to buy a house, you must buy a bigone. Because if your family is big and you have kids, you’re likelier to getdepressed in a small space during times like these!
Quarantine is such a great time to spend real quality time with your children because normally we all have to work.
-Mengyun
My cousin’s apartment is about 30-40 sq. meters and her kidis going crazy! My husband and I moved over to my parents’ house with our baby becauseit’s more spacious.
So. Coffeemaker, good coffee. Stock up on facemasks for thefuture, like for when you’re sick. Maybe 40-50 just to keep around the house,especially if you have children.
Quarantine is such a great time to spend real quality time with your children because normally we all have to work.
Sigh, this Chinese New Year was too bad. I had planned tospend some time with you to catch up, but you ran faster than anyone!
(Emily’s note: She’s referring to my mom and me leavingChongqing in a hurry. We were there to celebrate Chinese New year with my dad’sside of the family. This is the biggest family reunion of the year for allfamilies in China, but because of the pandemic, we were discouraged from largegatherings, so I didn’t get to see my cousin or meet her new baby.)
Mengyun: Are youstill able to go back to the States? China is finally overcoming the pandemicbut now it’s bad everywhere else!
Me: I can’t go toAmerica! I can’t go to other countries, either! Man, China just got better andI was planning on leaving, but now everywhere else is in a bad place, so Iguess I’ll just stick around Kunming longer.
Mengyun: I guessyou just have to settle and spend some time with your mom in Kunming. It’s myguess this year’s economy will be ruined, so I wouldn’t even think about goinganywhere. Just spend more time with your mom.
Me: I will. Thankyou soooo much for this. Now I will go exercise!
Mengyun: That’sgreat! Exercise boosts immunity! No virus can get past a strong immune system!
And that, that is my very bubbly cousin, Mengyun, who has managed to find the silver linings amongst the hardships. Just as Eden had.
Look for the silver linings, my friends. It’s there. It always is!
The Art of Social Distancing and Relationships in Beijing
Thank you so much for posting these stories! This was such a personal and authentic look into a real person’s life and how they fared. I appreciate your cousin’s honesty; I think we can all relate in different ways to the interpersonal and economic struggles. We are just now beginning to deal with the psychological and financial impacts in the United States. I can’t even imagine 2-3 months! But it is one day at a time.
Totally. One day at a time is the way to go 🙂
Thanks so much for your comment, Tova. I’m gonna share this with my cousin! I honestly didn’t know how much she went through. She hid the hardships from me probably not to burden me with negative thoughts during my own quarantine. Sigh…I’m glad people can relate to her experiences. We hope it helps people feel they’re not alone. Wishing you well <3
Great story. I have gained more perspectives on the economic consequences of Coronavirus.
Thank you, Evelyn! I’m glad it was helpful to you. I’ll let my cousin know 😉