The Art of Social Distancing and Relationships in Beijing

I had a very distressful morning. I felt helpless and angry at how certain governments are handling the crisis. But I know that feeling this way doesn’t do any good, and the only person I take out my anger on is my mom, and that’s not fair to her. So I put on Coco, the Disney movie, and had some soup.

I’ve been really excited to publish this post because it kicks off the series of stories told by other people who have lived through coronavirus quarantine in China and came out the other end (or soon will be).

I know these times are tough, even for some of us in post-quarantine, but by sharing our personal experiences with you, we hope to give you a sense of what to expect as your life becomes disrupted. More importantly, though, we wish to give you hope that you, too, will get through this.

Now without further ado, it is with great excitement that I introduce today’s contributor, the lovely Eden:

Eden is a New Jersey native but has been calling Beijing home for many years. I met her when I joined Culture Yard, a Chinese language and culture center (offering free online Chinese classes) and a small business she is helping her partner keep afloat during the pandemic.

Eden is fluent in Chinese and Spanish, is the sweetest human on earth (I mean this), and was heartbroken when the world had suddenly turned against China at a time it really needed love and support. But she has a knack for finding silver linings.

When she had the choice to leave Beijing early on, she chose to stay. Since then, she has been calming the fears of others both in China and abroad, and as always, has been giving people reason to smile.

This is Eden’s story:

I returned to Beijing on January 16 from a short holiday. While away, I had read stories of people in Wuhan getting sick from a new virus but didn’t think much of it. Wuhan is far from Beijing, and so far the virus seemed to be centralized around Wuhan.

Fast-forward a week to the start of Chinese New Year, the largest, most important holiday in China. The virus had spread across the country and reports of cases in Beijing surfaced. Wuhan had gone into lockdown and when all New Year’s celebrations in Beijing were cancelled, rumors that Beijing would go the same way ran rampant.

Flights were cancelled from lack of passengers willing to fly (NOT because of border closings, mind you.) Restaurants and other businesses began to close. Those that could work remotely did; those that couldn’t either went unpaid or took a serious pay-cut. Some lost their jobs entirely.

With grocery store shelves already depleted by the Chinese New Year celebrations, I wondered if I would be able to find food. Spoiler alert: I could. Masks and hand sanitizer could not be found anywhere. Even soap was in short supply.

I grew afraid, not of the virus, but of the people around me and how they would react to their own fear.

-Eden

Despite WHO and CDC recommendations, to the contrary, the Chinese government made a statement requiring everyone to wear a mask in public. (At the time of writing, the government has since backpedaled on this statement.)

I grew afraid, not of the virus, but of the people around me and how they would react to their own fear. Fear changes people and I had no idea what to expect.

Luckily, those closest to me are all logical and level-headed people, which helped to dispel my worries. To keep our spirits up, I gathered some friends and filmed a music video called “My Corona”, a parody of The Knack’s “My Sharona”. It brought smiles to our faces. Many others who later watched the video messaged us to let us know how it had made them forget their own worries for a moment or two.

Another week later, the Chinese New Year holiday had passed with the least amount of public fanfare and celebration in memory. Streets remained deserted, though the occasional mask-clad pedestrian would hurry past. The death toll continued to creep upwards.

Then one day, the sun became stronger and the sky bluer. The number of cases stopped growing and actually began to fall. The number of patients in critical condition slowly decreased, and the number of daily deaths grew lower and lower.

Grocery stores were once again abundantly stocked with beautiful fresh fruit and vegetables. Masks and hand sanitizer returned to the shops in quantities hitherto unseen (picture boxes stacked high on the floor). Some restaurants reopened with preventative measures such as temperature checks and a mandated minimum one-meter distance between customers.

With the cases dropping, Beijing ramped up its precautions. Suddenly there were temperature checks at the entrance to every city block and apartment complex. Communities issued residents an entry/exit permit, which allowed holders passage in and out of the street.

As COVID-19 began to spread more rapidly outside of China, stricter quarantine measures were enforced for returnees to Beijing in an effort to discourage people from entering China.

Now, as more and more people recover, the number of patients in China continues to drop. It has been about four months since the first case of COVID-19 was discovered in Wuhan. I do not pretend to know how the virus situation will play out or how long it will take for the world to pass through it, though there are many theories circulating.

My boyfriend and I relied too heavily on one another to meet our social needs, which resulted in more fights. We have worked through the rough patches, but the divorce rate has spiked in China, indicating other couples have not been so lucky.

-Eden

What I do know is that it is important to take care of yourself during this time. Physical health is important, but mental health is just as vital and often overlooked.

During the period of so-called “social distancing” in Beijing, I pushed myself hard at my job as we overhauled our language school’s business model to move online.

My boyfriend and I relied too heavily on one another to meet our social needs, which resulted in more fights. We have worked through the rough patches, but the divorce rate has spiked in China, indicating other couples have not been so lucky.

When I first heard the term “social distancing”, I was deeply disturbed by it. The phrase sounded like it came straight out of a dystopian novel, where a virus forces humanity to interact solely through technology and eventually leaves us like the humans aboard the Axiom in WALL-E.

I know that is a fatalistic view to take, and an unlikely result, but my underlying point remains. The act of social distancing was how my boyfriend and I ended up in arguments. We had distanced ourselves from all other humans, so that outside of the two of us, we had lost connection to real people. Fun fact: social media is not a replacement for real-world human interaction.

So call your parents, siblings, or kids. Go for a walk. Pick up a hobby. Exercise. Check the WHO and CDC websites to educate yourself on at-risk groups and how best to protect them and yourself if you are in one.

But above all, live your life as normally as you can and do not give in to the fear and rumors. Remember, this virus will pass.